Advice for dating a non christian

As I was walking in the back door, my hubby was walking out the front to attend a business dinner.I saw that he had come home early so he could bring us dinner before his meeting.I felt really bad, like I had let him down, but I wasn't really sure how. He called from the car just minutes after leaving and told me I was to be in our room, pants off, when he came home. The pit of my stomach dropped when he said, "you know your doctor said not to walk anywhere without your boot-cast on your leg unless you were on crutches, you could have broken that fractured bone". I have fractured that same bone .) I quickly put my boot-cast on and busied myself in tidying up the house, and then I took a shower.I was trying to calm down because at this point I knew there wasn't going to be any playfulness involved.One like I have never experienced before, and had never even seen before in any of my friend's or family's relationships (even the ones who had been together for 25 years). He came home early to find the kids watching TV, and no sign of me.When he finally stepped outside he spotted me out on the back 40 and gave me a look that could pierce the heart.We became verbally abusive to each other, and I dropped the 'D' Bomb in EVERY fight. Despite this, I still noticed myself at times being blatantly disrespectful, both at home and in public.This attitude didn't change until a few years ago when a good friend pointed out to me, in a very lovingly blunt way, that if I divorced my husband, in God's eyes, I would be committing adultery with any future husbands. I felt miserable every time because I was continuously failing in my convictions.

I decided not to say anymore to him about the matter and for the next few weeks I demonstrated a very submissive spirit.

I became resentful and felt like the unrecognized 'glue' of our family and it ate at me all day. Because of God's infinite wisdom my husband was blessed to be born in a family that never divorced, so he played the part of reeling me back in when my instinct was to run far and fast. I started appreciating my blessing to stay at home, and did my chores, as God commands, with love and a meek spirit, in the truth that I was doing HIS work.

My hubby always came home from work and entered a war zone. He really suffered a lot for God, me, and our children. By simply allowing my role to fulfill me and bring me joy I made our home a welcoming place for my husband and became his soft place in this world.

I have been glued to your site for days (hubby is out of town on business) and would really like to spill to someone who won't judge me. My mother and father have each been married to and divorced from 5 different people, which I think shows that their beliefs on strong southern women are way off.

I have never spoken to anyone about this, except my hubby. Just to give you perspective on how binding I thought marriage's were: As the preacher was saying "Till Death Do You Part" I was thinking "Or until I file for divorce".

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